Exhausted

I AM ABSOLUTELY exhausted. My legs are aching. I really need a shower but wouldn't have made it out. (Ran out of tobacco and need that more.) I feel like I have just come back from a 48-hour rave and am paying for it now. Despite not having slept at ALL the night before, I was still up at 5am last night. Still far too hyper to sleep. I took 2 Nytol. Then took a third 2 or 3 hours later. I realized afterwards that these were "one a night" strength (50mg diphenhydramine) and I never intended to take treble the recommended dose. (It's not dangerous by the way, it's just a sedating antihystamine. Quetiapine is antihistamine too (as well as being antipsychotic) but I'm trying not to take that.

I will not dare say I feel normal. And just for the record, although I don't feel really manic now, I don't feel as if the mania has gone away. I feel like you do when you've taken a load of speed and it's worn off, but you don't have the depressive type of come down. Just this weird, lingering hyper feeling mixed with a sense of having massively overdone it.

Yesterday morning I was yelling into the phone, pacing back and forth, while slapping my bare leg over and over. Eventually Pinxx said "what are you doing?" Then I went and posted what felt like complete confusion on my blog. I really couldn't focus my mind at all. I hope I don't spend another two days awake. That is really inconvenient. I've made a point of stocking up on more Nytol. Not that it's that amazing, but it's better than nothing.

Nothing else to say. This isn't really a post for you, just a diary note for me. Right I'm off. I'm drenched in sweat. Gotta go in that shower.

PS wonder if I'll be able to eat a whole plate of food today. I bought chocolate at around 5am and ran into a crackhead prostitute who started telling me about being beaten up by a serial killer. Life is nothing if not colourful. Not sure it's the colour scheme I'd chose though... Illustrated: Green and Blacks chocolate. Which I normally like. Really made me feel sick. Nytol: can't live without it...