WINTER is drawing inexorably closer. My house feels exceptionally chilly, clammy and damp. I daren't use the central heating any more after testing it out the other day and running up a bill of nearly £8 in eight hours (I'm sure I read the meter right).
Like a lot of other people I know, I feel run down, sickly and miserable and the time of year, surely, is a major factor. As I said yesterday, my friend has what sounds like a badly behaved less-than-year-old Alsatian/Akita cross in need of a good home. I would really like to take her on but Binky says it's a terrible idea as I wouldn't be up to the responsibility. One of the dog's behavioural problems is chewing things up in her owner's absence, which really wouldn't endear her to me. But on the other hand, the fact that she's big and furry with pointy ears would endear her a lot. I forgot to ask whether she pulls at the leash, because that really annoys me. If I'm going to have a dog I want a really well-behaved one. I've never seen a badly-behaved Akita but there's a first for everything.I've been feeling down for a week or two now. This past weekend, in order to "regulate my mood" (my GP's expression) I tried taking my pills one in the afternoon and one at night, like I'm supposed to. Usually I take the entire dose at night in order to avoid daytime drowsiness. So by five pm I was whacked out unconscious. I woke again at midnight, in time to take pill number two. And then slept all the way round till 9:30 ~ just in time to drink my methadone. Was awake for less than an hour... and slept round again... eventually rousing myself after two pm, making a grand total of twenty hours' sleep. Now that is ridiculous. The next night (Sunday) I slept badly, only going to bed around two and waking at 7:30, freezing cold. But last night I was unconscious for twelve hours in one block. So my sleep's all over the place. They do say winter depression is a kind of human hibernation response with the hypersomnia and carbs cravings. I've been packing on the pounds lately with all the Mr Kiplings Country Slices, chocolate limes and other stodge I'm consuming every day. So I'm trying to give up the sweets and stick to cottage pies with "country mixed vegetables". And supermarket Chinese chicken curry and beef in blackbean sauce. Not that I'm obsessed with food or anything. I haven't got the true Seasonal Affective Disorder ~ I know I haven't, because the most hyper and manic I've ever been was also in midwinter. My Mum says she gets winter depressions though ~ every single year. When I'm a famous writer I think I'm going to move to the Bahamas. 
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