EVERY MORNING I wake up feeling sick. Too sick to drink alcohol. I buy alcohol anyway, pour it out and it just sits there for hours. Then I sup so slowly I don't get drunk at all. It's not banging into walls, double-vision drunkenness I'm after, just a half-intoxicated feeling. Anyway this morning I had to rush to get to the post office. My infected ear is as bad as ever. Amoxocillin pills seem to be doing nothing, so maybe I'll have to use the old spray that made me even more deaf. I walked as rapidly as I could. Which wasn't that fast. I felt dizzy. The world seemed to be swaying. I realized I had forgotten my mobile phone. If I tripped and fell, I felt I would never get up again. Then I'd be dragged into hospital with no phone, no money, no way of getting out with nobody knowing what was wrong, because it was only an ear infection anyway. Is this how all people feel when they get old? Shaky and unsteady and terrified of going down? Or is it just me. I don't think it's the drink, by the way, because I don't drink enough to be an "alcoholic". And I certainly don't have that syndrome where one drink sets a person off and they don't stop until unconsciousness. Never been like that. And I don't think it's the drugs. I haven't touched the "brown" in days... Although I am getting heavy sweats. So heavy I drank twice the normal methadone dose yesterday to see if I could stop them. But it didn't stop them. Should I go to a doctor? By the way, if I felt broadly like this, yet had no symptoms at all to pin it on, I'd assume it was "depression". And I'm starting to feel depressed as well.
O yeah, and I found out by digging through the Polish on the side of the carton, that lime n mint drink is actually a
Mojito without the rum...
Today I got cactus and lime. Isn't life a trip!!
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